Posts Tagged ‘Children’

Tips for Dating Someone With Children

Dating can be complicated enough on it’s own but when there are children involved things can get even trickier. Many people shy away from starting a relationship with a partner who already has children and many singles with children are also apprehensive about starting a relationship. While dating a person with children can lead to a wonderful relationship it is important to exercise caution to ensure that the children are not hurt by the relationship. While the existence of children in a dating situation does complicate things, it does not have to destine the relationship to failure.

Deciding when to meet the children of the person you are dating is a crucial element of the equation. It is not necessary to meet the children on the first date. Doing so can be confusing to the children if the relationship does not progress and you are soon out of the picture. While it is important that the person you are dating disclose that they have children, meeting them is not a necessary first step. It’s important that the relationship has a chance to grow before bringing the children into the equation. After all, while the children may be an important part of your partner’s life, you have to have some time to decide if you think this is a worthwhile relationship before deciding if you want to become a parental figure in the children’s lives. If you have been dating for awhile and things are starting to become more serious, now would be a good time to meet your partner’s children and get to know them as well. You don’t want to rush into meeting the children too early in your relationship but you also don’t want to wait too long either. Waiting until marriage plans are already under way will leave the children feeling helpless and powerless about the situation. Meeting the children of the person you are dating is an important step in your relationship and the timing of this step is also very important.

Once you have met the children involved it is important to be cognizant of their feelings. While you are in the relationship with their parent it is also crucial to build a relationship with the children as well if you plan to continue your dating relationship. This may be difficult if the children are resentful. If the biological parent is out of the picture due to death or divorce, the children may see you as trying to replace their parent and they may act angry or hurtful towards you. It is important to bond with the children while assuring them that you are not trying to replace their parent in any way. Sitting down with your partner and his or her children to discuss what type of role you will play in the lives of the children is a good idea. This gives everyone the opportunity to express their feelings and it is also an opportunity to establish boundaries regarding discipline and decision making. Children like to feel as though they have some control in the situation so allowing them to express their feelings will help your relationship with the children to grow.

After you have begun to bond with the children it is time to once again focus your attention on the dating relationship. Meeting your partner’s children is important as is establishing and maintaining functioning relationships with them but it’s critical that you not lose sight of your relationship with your partner after the children have been introduced into the relationship. At this juncture of the relationship it is crucial to balance time with your partner and the children. It’s fine to continue activities with the entire family but it’s also important to have time alone with your partner as you did earlier in the relationship. Setting aside time just for you and your partner will ensure that the relationship continues to grow and flourish.

Dating someone with children can be complicated but following the tips provided above will help to ease the situation. Be sure to wait until the relationship has become serious before involving the children so that they do not have unrealistic expectations. Once you decide to meet the children, take things slowly and be aware of their feelings. Following their lead will ensure that you are not moving too quickly. After the children are involved, remember to put aside time for just you and your partner to continue your own relationship. These tips will help to create a loving relationship with both your partner and his or her children.